


Reality is a State of Mind

by Catw00man



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist, Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, F/M, Familiar Looking OC, First anime, Future Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-25
Updated: 2013-03-25
Packaged: 2017-12-06 11:39:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/735232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catw00man/pseuds/Catw00man
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarity or sanity? Each day Ed is faced with making that one choice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reality is a State of Mind

**Author's Note:**

> This was a hard one to get into 500 words and I hope it still works. Basically the first time Ed goes to Germany things _do not_ turn out well for him. Consider it AU once he first arrived in Germany in the original anime. Also, for those that recognize it, this is my FMA treatment of a BtVS episode called "Normal Again."
> 
> Written for the [fma_fic_contest](http://fma-fic-contest.livejournal.com) for the prompt: _Pills_

The lone pill bottle sits on the kitchen counter and he needs to reach for it. He didn’t take his meds last night and he’s already feeling the affects. Symbols and circles he doesn’t understand, along with known faces twisted in fantasy, swim through his mind and he needs to make them stop. They aren’t real. 

But maybe if he went another few days without his meds….

Ed grits his teeth as he reaches for the bottle and shakes a pill into his hand. He stares at it then fists his hand around the small, white bit of sanity. His mind will quiet down not long after he takes it. The symbols and crazy imaginings will recede, buried behind a medicinal fog. Sometimes he thinks he could understand some of Alfons’ rocket theories if he could just think clearly…but it’s not worth it. He _won’t_ go back to that place.

He blinks and in an instant he’s there, minus his prosthetics, locked up in a white room with soft walls. Drawings of circles and writing cover the walls. He put them there, but now it’s incomprehensible gibberish. He’ll be good. He’ll take his meds. He’ll stop talking about that other place if they just let him out!

A shudder runs through him bringing him back to the present. He’s panting and cold sweat breaks out over his upper lip. He won’t go back. He won’t. Even if he has to live with fog in his mind and do menial labor at Winifred’s aunt’s restaurant forever, it’s still better than _that._

Ed opens his hand and looks down to take his pill when he’s distracted by the gleam of automail. Wait. Automail? Where did that come from? He blinks to focus and sees the usual hook prosthetic that substitutes for his hand, still holding the pill bottle. This is reality. Not that other place. It’s just like the symbols in his mind. Alchemistry? He shakes his head. It doesn’t matter. It’s not real. So why does he always feel like he’s left something undone?

“Edward? Are you…ok?”

Ed jumps at the voice and looks over his shoulder to see Winifred rubbing her eyes and wearing one of his long shirts. She’s the reason he missed his pill last night, but he never expected she’d come home with him after they finished cleaning up at the restaurant. She looks at him with wide blue eyes filled with concern and a trace of fear. He doesn’t blame her. No one would want to think they slept with a crazy person. He still can’t believe she’s over looked his madness.

“I’m fine. I was just…taking my vitamins.” Ed tosses back the pill dry and tries to pretend she doesn’t look like the woman in his delusions. Her eyes soften, but he doesn’t miss the relief spread across her face. He would love to be more, to give her more. But he won’t lose his sanity again. 

This is reality.

…isn’t it?

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and concrit are always loved and appreciated. ;-)


End file.
